tips for surviving in an abusive home
(these all come from personal experience and as such may not be safe in your particular situation. please be careful.)
– if you have to delete your search history, refill it with safe or homework-related searches afterwards to deflate suspicion. completely blank search history may give the abuser(s) reason to suspect you’re hiding something.
– avoid being in places where they can corner you and always place a locked door between you and them if possible. when in a room with them always know where the closest exit point is and try to stay close to it.
– if you need to take drinks from your abuser(s), make sure you make a mental note of how full the bottle is before pouring, and then make up for the lost amount with water and shake the bottle if you can. alternately, when opening carbonated drinks, cough/sneeze to cover the initial fizz and muffle the opening sound with a towel or your sleeve. this takes practice so please be careful to not give yourself away.
– if your family inspects what you buy, always dispose of receipts in bins away from home as soon as you get them, if you don’t want them to know about the thing you’ve been buying. never make the mistake of keeping them in your trash or pockets if your room is frequently searched; the one time you keep a receipt on you may be the time they search you.
– hide small items underneath a bottom drawer on the floor and close to the front where they’re less likely to be seen if a room search is carried out. alternately buy a book, hollow out the middle, hide your valuables in it and leave it in your drawers or bookcase.
– hide loose coins inside a plant pot. the dirt should muffle the sound when you pick them out. stash notes/dollar bills behind game case covers, behind a mirror or inside books your abuser(s) wouldn’t find interest in such as a dictionary.
– if you can’t leave your room to pee do it in a container, preferably one that isnt see-through in case the abuser(s) see it, and carefully pour it out of the window when its safe to do so.
– keep a small stash of dry and/or soft foods like cereal bars, soft candies, peanut butter, beef jerky and dried fruits in a shoebox and rotate between hiding spots as often as you need to. if you’re likely to be punished for being heard unwrapping foods like cereal bars, unwrap them after buying them and stash them inside a (preferably opaque) airtight container.
– if you’re likely to be locked out or kicked out, keep an emergency stash of essentials hidden in the nearby woodlands or a well-hidden bush if you’re able. a small bag packed with a clean shirt, dry snacks and some money may be extremely useful.
– layered clothing can offer some padding if you are subjected to physical abuse. keep a mini first aid kit hidden in your room if possible as well as a heat pack to help with any injuries you may sustain. also, tie long hair into a bun if your abuser pulls your hair. it gives them less to grab onto.
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