to clarify they do this to people who pirate movies, shows, or songs, they got exposed by 4chan and some high level leaks, and they STILL do this because most of the people working for “justice” dont believe that the high fines for pirating are enough, better to put em in prison for two decades and then theyre a creepy registered sex offender until they die. thats what they get for sharing a copy of Zootopia, right? totally deserved
Reminder that the government exists solely to defend the institution of private property, and any other actions they take are extraneous and/or meant to justify its existence
i know the “ok tumblr children please here are the rules to twitter and please behave” posts are so patronizing and dumb but some of you NEED to know that your likes are public
This is legitimately the funniest thing that has ever happened on MBMBAM
[Transcript:
Brothers: Brooks. Brooks: So, uh, my question is: my boyfriend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine– [audience laughs] uncooked– Griffin: I would hope he’s not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine, Brooks. Travis: In your pantry! Brooks: –and eating them raw. And he keeps calling them chips? Justin: Okay. [audience laughs] Brooks: How do I make him stop? Travis: Is your boyfriend here? Brooks: Yeah. Travis: You’re a monster. [audience laughs] Words mean things! Griffin: Does anybody remember– [clears throat] I haven’t been to Olive Garden in many moons, but they do have, like, a little, like, fettuccine bottle that you can just grab them out and chew– hold on, was this a prank you guys pulled on me when we went to Olive Garden as kids!? [audience laughs, Justin quietly snickers] No, stop! Everybody shut up! Do they give you fettu– raw fettuccine to chew on in the lobby of the Olive Garden? [Audience, shouting: No!] Griffin: You [stutters] fuckin’ bastards! Travis, shouting: YEAHHHHHHHH! [audience cheering] Justin: The prestige! [Travis laughs] Travis: Now you have IBS! We got him! Griffin: [crosstalk] I didn– What I need you– Brooks, we’ll get back to you– what I need you two to understand is that was not the only time I went to Olive Garden. There were– [breaks in embarrassment] Travis: Were there never employees around!? Like– [Justin laughs loudly] Griffin: I– I, wanting to seem like an authentic metropolitan diner, would always grab the fettuccine and walk over to my friends, like, “mm, yeah, I’m a little– little peckish.” [Justin and Travis laugh] Justin: Griffin, as a– Griffin: I fucking can’t believe– I can’t believe you did that and I can’t believe literally I’m finding out in the worst imaginable venue. Justin: Speaking as a former Olive Garden employee, there is– if I saw a little kid eating fettu– raw fettuccine? The odds of me stopping them are negative 1000 percent. Griffin: Okay, Brooks. Justin: Brooks! Griffin: Yeah, so I’m gonna sit this one out, Brooks. Travis: Wait– Justin: Brooks, is it possible that your boyfriend has been laboring under the same delusion as my brother for all these years? [crosstalk, unintelligible] Oh, they sell this for you to take home? Okay, well, fancy for myself then. Travis: Brooks, is it possible your boyfriend does not believe these are chips, but instead likes to annoyyou by calling them chips, a thing I– not exactly that, but similar– do to my wife all the time. [audience laughs] Griffin: Is it possible, boyfriend, loves chips. And you never have chips, and this is his way of passive aggressively [audience laughs] sort of guilting you into go– “MM, these are tasty chips!” And as a raw fettuccine eater myself, I can tell you it’s not a– it’s not a good chew. You do it– you put it in your mouth, and your six-year-old brain thinks “it’ll turn to fettuccine in the heat of your mouth.” It doesn’t work like that! It doesn’t work like that! Just doesn’t work like that. Justin, softly: Brooks?]
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