decaffeinatedgay:

Best quotes from Onisions book, Reaper’s Creek

Chapter1

“Everyone seems so worried about what their ex would do with their money as if they are a completely different person than who they originally fell in love with.”

“But how can they ignore how corrupt they are?”

“Where would I be going to bed with- out the contraption he made me? In the bathroom? Or maybe we’d just put hang a blanket from the ceiling in our little wooden front room.”

““None of your business loser!””

“He had a haircut like he was in the Beatles band”

“Oddly enough, if you boil them, apparently they make a decent soup, but make no mistake, they are basically the jelly fish of plants.”

““Woohoo!” I screamed”

“Suddenly I saw the face of my bully show up in front of my eyes. It was Phillip, and immediately after everything went black. (Beware evil Phil)”

“The air was so beautiful smelling”

“Why did I see Phillip’s face?”

“Walking down the hill and into the yard Joanna said with her basic brown teen- ager haircut and her clothes that were too tight for her plump body type “Oh my God dork, are you gonna die or something?””

“Stepping across the wood floor my mom painted white as a result of our pets peeing on our former carpet till it was unbearable to have around, I walked into the bathroom, now putting pressure on my wound.”

“Maybe the sharp stick I had fallen on when I blacked out had hit a rib, I imagine if I was hit somewhere else, it would have at least dug deeper.”